Body Talk – The Muscle Buffet

In my life I have suffered through and with so many things.  This is just one of them.  I’ve chosen to tackle it a little bit differently. My body talk…


The Muscle Buffet.

You know, I came here to give you a piece of my mind but look, you already took it.

Spiteful git…

So, what will it be today?

Six hours on the toilet and a cup of blood?

Hot and cold sweats, followed by abdominal screeching and double-folds over?


Today, we are going to try a main course of full-on muscle spasms with a muscle displacement in the right calf, on both sides, no less. And, as a special bonus, we’ll add a full leg-lock from calf to thigh and we’ll coat it with a hip-lock chaser and you can have all this whilst in the bathtub. Now, how does that sound?

Oh, perfect; no warning, fully naked, wet, and covered in soap no less.

Nice image, if it were a sexy novel, right?

Alas, this is your life Crimson Quintessence!

Stuck here, with me, your body, screaming at the top of our lungs like a banshee in the woods, but instead crying out, in agony, for help, for twenty good solid minutes as your aid breaks in the locked door and rushes into the washroom, pulls the plug to drain the water and suds, without luck, yanks on you and tries to re-position your leg to loosen the grip this spasm has you in. All the while, one of your children is screaming, “I’m going to call 911” and you, still screaming in agony, yell back between rapid breaths, “the hell you are!”

“Such fun I’m having with you this evening!”  Drawls the dark figure inside your mind.


While continuing to suffer, I yell out…

“I really want fire fighters and paramedics trying to haul my wet, naked ass out of the tub!”

Finally, your body responds and the muscles let go, for just a brief second, just enough for you to be yanked out of the tub and dropped to the floor like a dead porpoise from the ocean.  You flop to the floor, the spasms start again, with a vengeance, you scream the roof off the house, crying, please just kill me!!, you try to move and loosen its grip on you just enough to work it away and stand.

Now, your foot locks up and your ankle locks up – sideways, but, hey your thigh, hip and calve loosen up.

You fight, and, with the help of your partner to make it up the stairs and get to your bed to grab the liniment and start massaging everything to get it to fully relax.

The pain lasts for just over two weeks and then just dissipates. No explanations, no reasons. It goes on in variations for several months. Both my feet, ankles and toes, my right calf, right hip, right forearm and my right hand and fingers lockup, no warning, very little relief.

A trip to the neurologist lends small hope. He gives me a medication to try, but, i cannot take it with my meds for my severe insomnia, the two don’t mix well.

So, now my sleep pattern is messed up, but, for now the spasms subside…

until the third month of medication.  Now, “HELLO DOLLY!!!!!, I’m back and just as ferocious as before!, only this time, we’ll add a side of neck and shoulder and pinch your sciatic nerve. Sound good?”

WOW!, that was a good one. Took five months to get any relief and sleeping was a bitch, still is.  The only way is on ice packs. Walking is a trip sometimes, occasionally need a cane, mostly to get up from a seated position and balance while walking or standing for any length of time.

Now, we are into a whole new year and the body buffet is open for business.




Original written work by Gillian Gibson aka Crimson Quintessence 2019.
**Click on any Image to redirect to the images web-page/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labeled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**

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